Sunday, April 03, 2011

NYC: Lost and Found, Part Two

(Part One of this New York adventure can be found here.)

I was awakened Saturday morning by a phone call from, Dominick, the Amtrak conductor who found my lost wallet, telling me what train was bringing it back to New York and when it was due to arrive. At the appointed time I walked from the hotel to Penn Station, arriving at 11:45am, just moments after my wallet did. I picked it up at Customer Service and yes, everything was still in it! Thank you, Amtrak and Dominick! I took a cab from Penn Station to Brother Jimmy's and made it just in time for Jessica Leccia's luncheon which started at noon!

The first time I walked into Brother Jimmy's, the weekend of Crystal Chappell's fan luncheon last fall, I was a little nervous about meeting people I'd only “met” online, although I had interacted with many of them daily for months. This time I felt like I was rushing to a family reunion. I wanted hugs and photos and laughter and lots of each of them. I wasn't disappointed.

I quickly found Denise and Lynn who had saved a place for me at their table. I set my coat and bag down, grabbed my camera and started shooting. A few hugs and pictures later I heard someone say that Jessica had just arrived. She had slipped in quietly and was halfway across the room before most of us noticed her! Sneaky! I started taking pictures as she began to make her way from table to table, greeting people, giving autographs & hugs and smiling for photos. She was meeting some for the first time while others were like old friends, having attended several other events, too.


I did my best to get some pictures of her as she was making her way around the room. I always prefer shooting candid photos without flash whenever I can but because of the low light and the arrangement of the tables I did have to shoot with flash more than I had at Crystal's luncheon. I'd much rather slip in and out among the crowd taking candids than to have people pose for my pictures.



When it was my turn to talk with Jessica I told her I'd brought something for her and she said, “Oh, Donna! What did you do?!” She and Brian both loved the Dimples design I'd done with Jessica's smile (I'd sent a t-shirt and buttons for her last year when I couldn't attend the luncheon myself). This year I gave her a “My Life is a Soap Opera: What Would Ani Do?” t-shirt I'd gotten from my Zazzle shop and some buttons and magnets I'd made with the same design. She took out the t-shirt and held it up for pictures. When she said her mama would want some buttons and magnets I gave her my business card so she'd know where to find more if needed. She signed the 8x10 photo that was included in the packets we'd been given when we arrived and she also signed a “My Life Is a Soap Opera... What Would Natalia Do?” graphic for me. (Thanks for this photo, Lynn!)



While she was at our table, someone presented her with a stuffed bunny rabbit and when you squeezed its foot, the ears wiggled. Jessica loved it and kept making the ears wiggle over and over. We're pretty sure the batteries were dead by morning!



Next was a gift of Jessica's favorite Girl Scout Cookies, Peanut Butter Patties. She wasted no time tearing into the package. It takes more than one picture to show how much she enjoyed that gift!




Questions had been submitted ahead of time for a Q&A session and we learned a little bit more about Jessica. We found out that if she hadn't been an actress she'd want to be a meterologist or an obstetrician, despite the fact that she isn't good in Math or Science. She said she does audition for theater roles but feels more comfortable with television.( If you were there, please leave a comment here and tell us what your favorite questions and answers were!)



Jessica's husband, Brian Malloy, came downstairs to our meeting room after the Q&A. Brian, the manager of the Brother Jimmy's location where the luncheon was held, is a darling man who has a fan following of his own as Jessica's fans have made Brother Jimmy's a favorite meeting place in New York City. From time to time he stopped in to see how things were going, posed for a few pictures, then gathered up the gifts people had brought for Jessica and set them aside for her. This time I made a point of having my picture taken with Brian since I'd forgotten to do that the last time I was there.



Next came the scene re-enactments, but those will have to wait for Part Three! Coming Soonish!

Friday, March 25, 2011

NYC: Lost & Found


The first time I took the train to New York City I went with my family to celebrate my daughter's 18th birthday and found a new friend. Jill Lorie Hurst met our train at Penn Station and spent the day with us as tour guide. We adopted her as an honorary member of the family. Jill has challenged me to see myself with new eyes, to think of myself as a writer, and to tell my stories.

The second time I took the train to New York City, I went alone to attend Crystal Chappell's fan events. A generous Twitter friend (@valluv1) had offered to share her hotel room so I could go to a Venice event Saturday night and to Crystal's fan club luncheon on Sunday. Twitter friends became real life friends and I was amazed that Crystal and Kimmy knew who I was! As I took pictures with my new DSLR I felt like a real photographer again. And once more, Jill broadened my horizons as she brought me into a discussion about soaps with her friends, a former Soap Opera Digest editor, Melissa Scardaville, and a current writer for the Young & the Restless, Tom Casiello.

The third time I took the train to New York City was just a couple of weekends ago. I went to attend Jessica Leccia's fan luncheon, but so much happened in such a short time that I'm still processing it all. Instead of a chronological report, like the one I wrote about Crystal's fan club luncheon, I've decided on a topical approach.


Lost and Found: The Wallet

The first thing I did when I got to New York was lose my wallet. Really.

As I stepped off the train I thought I might have dropped something so I stopped and looked behind me. I didn't see anything on the platform or in the doorway of the train car I'd just left so I went on to meet Lynn (@Ceridwyn2) and head to the hotel where I was sharing a room with Denise (@jessiewolf). When I got to the front desk and reached and for my wallet to show them my driver's license I realized I did not have my wallet.

Oh. So that's what I dropped.

I called my husband and credit cards were reported lost and canceled. I called Amtrak, too, just in case someone might find the wallet and turn it in. I called Jill to let her know what was happening, too, as we had made tentative plans for her to meet with us later during a break from work. Lynn walked with me to find a branch of my bank and get a cash advance to see me through the weekend while Denise tried to get a little sleep since she had arrived on a red-eye flight that morning.

When we got back to the hotel I got a call from my husband saying he'd heard from the conductor on my train. He'd found my wallet... with everything – including the cash – still in it! My wallet would be going all the way to the end of the line in Boston and then he'd put it on another train back to New York the next morning for me to pick up at Penn Station.

When I called Jill to tell her the news that my wallet had been found she said, “You have some kind of crazy karma, young lady!” I replied, “I. Am. Blessed!” The next morning I walked to Penn Station, picked up my wallet that had just arrived on the train from Boston, took a cab to Brother Jimmy's and got to Jessica Leccia's luncheon before it started.

I'd like to say that the wallet was the only thing I lost during the weekend, but it wasn't. I got all the way back home to Maryland before I realized that the fan packet I'd received at Jessica's luncheon, along with the things she had autographed that were in it, did not make it home with me. I put a quick inquiry out on Twitter and discovered that it had been found at Brother Jimmy's, where the luncheon was held, and is being mailed to me! Thank you, Sharon (@golffitz) and Val (@RdBlaz) and Brother Jimmy's! Oh, and my lost hotel key card turned up in the laundry once I got home, too, having apparently been tucked away in the one pocket I did not check at the hotel in New York.

For the rest of my stay in NYC, if anyone around me dropped or lost anything, someone would look at me and say, “It's contagious!” I know Somebody was looking out for me all weekend and my friends took very good care of me! Thank you, all!





Love, Loss and What I Wore

Friday night, Denise and Lynn and I had dinner with a couple of Denise's friends at the Westway Diner, then Denise and I went to see Kim Zimmer in “Love, Loss and What I Wore” at the Westside Theater. I knew what this show was about ...using clothing and accessories to bring out women's stories about life... and I knew it would be good. But I didn't expect it to affect me the way it did.

I think I cried for the last twenty minutes of the show.

It was funny, touching, hilarious, poignant... did I mention funny? So many of the stories struck a familiar chord with me and reminded me of myself or women I've known and/or been related to throughout my life. But I lost it when they put up the drawing of a little girl who had been playing dress up in her grandmother's closet. The grandmother took such delight in her granddaughter's imaginative play and I couldn't help but think of my mother and my mother-in-law and all the times my two daughters had done the same thing.

Specific photographs I'd taken of my girls came to mind, all dressed up in their grandmother's clothes, hearing my mother talk about how much fun she'd had painting my niece's fingernails and doing her hair, watching my older daughter dress up her little sister to put on a play in front of their grandmother's fireplace... all these things danced through my mind as tears quietly ran down my cheeks. And I promised myself that I would do all I could to preserve these stories and tell them over and over again to my daughters and nieces and their daughters, too, now that my mother and mother-in-law are both gone.

And then the voice of the author came from the stage, saying she couldn't imagine how anybody would want to publish a book of her little personal stories. But they did. Because the stories were personal for other people, too.

During the past year or so, I've been thinking about writing a book. And much of what I've thought of writing are my own “little personal stories”. I've wondered if I could do it. I've wondered if what I wanted to say most has already been said by someone else, better than I could ever say it. I've wondered why anybody would want to read it since much of what I'd thought of writing is just things I've lived through.

I've always thought that everybody has a story. And as I sat in the Westside Theater, with tears streaming down my face, I thought, “OK. I get it, God. It's time I told mine.”

And that was Day One of my weekend in New York City.

It began with a wallet lost.

It ended with a purpose found.




Friday, February 18, 2011

Desegregation


On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day this year I watched Oprah's special show about race in America and thought of growing up in Dallas in the '60's. When they talked about the Little Rock 9 I was reminded of the desegregation of the schools in the '70's. I was in the eighth grade then.


The youngest of three children in my family, I followed my older brother and sister through the neighborhood schools where the teachers were well acquainted with my family and sometimes slipped and called me by my sister's name. From first through fifth grade I walked to school or rode my bike since the school was just five blocks from the only home I'd ever known. It was a neighborhood where Beaver Cleaver would have felt at home... simple houses with trees waiting to be climbed, basketball hoops above garages, and everybody knew which house on the block had the best yard for a game of baseball or football. Mine did (level yard, no fences, no trees).

I didn't think much about how white my world was. It was just my world. The people in my school were white. The people at my church were white. I saw mostly white people on all three channels on my black and white TV, too. Except for the news.

On the TV news shows we saw the Vietnam war and race riots and a man named Martin Luther King, Jr.. I can't remember any specific comments my parents made about such things but I know they didn't want to see anyone hurt or killed and they didn't think that we were any better than black people or anybody else. They spoke in respectful tones about Dr. King. At church we sang about Jesus loving all the little children, “red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight.” In my home, we believed that.

When I visited friends in my neighborhood I sometimes heard words of anger and derision directed toward black people and it caught me by surprise. I thought my neighbors were good people, so how could they say such things? How could they think such things? Why would they speak in such hateful tones about people they didn't know, who had never done them any harm?

I began to realize that not everybody will see the world the way I do.

In sixth grade it became clear that I would take a slightly different path through the educational system than the one my older siblings had taken. A new school had been built and the line dividing our neighborhood went right down the middle of my street. I went to the new school. New teachers had never met my family, new students came from different neighborhoods. Paint fumes and sawdust and construction crews were still on site. We ate lunch at our desks for months because the cafeteria hadn't been completed yet. Neither had the gym so we played outside during recess, climbing on the ladders and giant cable spools that littered the schoolyard.

We were all getting used to something new and we had to work together and do the best we could with the inconveniences.

While I was getting used to this new school, my brother was a student at Hulcy Middle School that met in the top floor of Carter High School because the new middle school building was still a work in progress. When I became a seventh grader the next year, I joined him there. That year my brother and sister and I were all attending school in the same building again since my sister was a student in the high school.

With two schools squeezed into a space intended for one, conditions were very crowded. Desks lined up in the alcoves near the stairwells became study halls. Each locker was shared by at least four or five students. I can't imagine the logistical planning it took to get all of the students from both schools in and out of the one cafeteria every day for lunch. PE teachers would flip a coin to see which class would go outside while the other class used the gym. And if there's anything worse than being a lost little seventh grader running into a big ninth grade football player it's running into a big high school senior football player.

That year I had a black classmate for the first time. Robert Ware was the only black student in my junior high and he was my friend. If I remember correctly, the high school had three or four black students.

And then we got word that busing to achieve racial desegregation would begin in the Dallas schools the following year. Buses would start bringing black kids from their neighborhoods to our schools. Black families wondered why their kids were the ones who had to spend hours on the buses every day. Many white families moved to the suburbs or sent their kids to private schools because they didn't want their kids going to school with black kids.

Looking around my crowded classrooms my only question was, “Where are we going to put them all?”

The answer was... here and there.....

The ninth grade stayed at the high school. Half of the seventh grade stayed at the elementary schools where they had just finished sixth grade. The other half of the seventh grade and half of the eighth grade shared space with the rival junior high a few miles away, which I understand made life interesting the week the two teams played each other in football.

I was in the half of the eighth grade that attended classes at the Texas National Guard Armory out on Red Bird Lane, much further from my house than the high school and definitely off the beaten track.

Each morning, my mother would drive me through the familiar subdivisions near my house, out onto the two lane country highway, passing plowed fields and barns. Turning into the unpaved, caliche parking lot of the Texas National Guard Armory and driving around the military trucks and tanks, she deposited me on the doorstep of my new, makeshift school.

Inside I found a cavernous drill hall that I thought was bigger than several gymnasiums. I saw school desks lined up and grouped into four different classroom areas with a few movable blackboards and temporary partitions placed around them as dividers. They didn't help much because we could easily see and hear what was going on everywhere. If someone was in trouble in the English class, everybody at the other end of the drill hall heard the drama play out. Occasionally, a few soldiers in uniform would walk by and students would turn to face them and salute. Teachers had their hands full trying to keep the classes focused on their work. And every other week we helped the teachers pack things up to be moved out of the way while the paratroopers came in to train over the weekend.

The students at the armory were organized into two teams. One team attended each of the four core classes in turn – English, History, Math, and Science – while the other half went to Music, Art and Physical Education. Music class met in an actual classroom, Art class in the armory's Mess Hall. PE was outside when the weather was nice or squeezed into another small classroom inside when it wasn't. We all brought our lunches and ate wherever we happened to be when the lunch period began. After lunch, the teams switched places. The core classes group moved on to Music, Art & PE while the other team took it's place.

You might notice I haven't mentioned that for the first time in my life about half of my classmates were black. To me, this was just another year of classes with students and teachers who were new to me and with circumstances that were less than convenient.

Once again, we were all getting used to something new and we had to work together and do the best we could with the inconveniences.

Oh, and I just happened to have classmates who were black, too.

We spent one semester in that armory. Just a few short months. And little by little we got to know each other. The black students and the white students. The smart ones and the not so smart ones. The funny ones and the serious ones. Some were artistic. Some were scientists. Some were loud and some were quiet. Some you knew would be football stars next year. Some would clearly be voted most likely to succeed or star in the senior play or dance at your wedding.

I would like to tell you that the next semester, when our new school building was finally finished, we entered with hands clasped, singing as one a chorus of “We Shall Overcome”. But of course, we didn't.

Once again, we faced a new environment with lots of new teachers and students to get to know as the rest of our classmates came together from their scattered locations. Some adjusted more easily than others and yes, there were fights. We had police officers assigned to our building, as did other schools throughout the city. I had friends who were drawn into conflicts and some who were targeted. Small incidents could quickly become big ones and as I look back on it I greatly admire the best of my teachers who were able to win our trust and confidence and help bridge the gaps and ease the way for us along with teaching us decimals and literature and the periodic table. I'm sure the students brought their parents' attitudes and prejudices to school with them, just as I carried the lessons my parents had taught me.

I don't recall ever having a conflict with with other students based on race. I do recall some interesting talks with a couple of girls who seemed to always get in trouble and frequently found themselves in the principals office for fighting. We talked about why they got so angry and how they wanted to do better. I'm not sure why these tall, strong willed, outspoken black girls felt so comfortable talking with me, a skinny, artsy-nerdy white girl with long blond hair who was usually the teacher's pet. But I'm glad they did. Sometimes when I saw them getting in trouble again I'd catch their eye. And we both knew that they wanted to do better. And sometimes they did. I recall admiring their strength and hoping they would figure out how to put it to good use. I remember having similar conversations with white friends, too.


When I was an eighth grader I learned that it's not just about race, it's about culture. And I learned that what our respective cultures had in common was much greater than our differences.

I no longer attended a school in my small neighborhood, but my neighborhood grew a little larger that year. 



Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Odd Jobs And Jack LaLanne

While my husband was working on his Masters of Theology degree I was working on my PhT... “Putting Hubby Through” seminary. I took my BA in History and used it to fill in the blanks of applications for jobs that had nothing to do with my major but helped pay the bills while my husband worked part time and took a full load of classes.

One of those jobs was the one that paid for our first child's birth and introduced me to Eunice. Then I heard that a new Baptist cable TV network was in development in Ft. Worth and they were hiring. I became a secretary for a talk show a couple of months before it went on the air. We had two or three interviews and a musical guest on each one hour show and did them “live-to-tape”.

Working for the ACTS Network I found an interesting mix of creative professionals, ministers, broadcast technicians and other “seminary wives” like me. The work would turn out to be infinitely more interesting than typing numbers into a 10-key all day at my previous job. For the first few days I sat in the office with the show's two co-hosts and listened to them brainstorming and planning so I could figure out how to organize the information they would need. This was in the early '80s when the only computer in our department was one Apple IIe in the office of one of our bosses. He was learning to write programs for it in BASIC but all of us secretaries still had IBM Selectrics at our desks. When I set up the files they were in a filing cabinet, not a computer database.

During meetings with the show's hosts and producers, I was encouraged to share my own ideas for guests or interview questions and it was clear that our team was open to input from everyone. One of my duties was to type out the intros of the guests for the teleprompters and when we discovered that the intros written by the show's hosts were too long I made suggestions for editing them. Eventually, I started writing them myself. I just tried to imagine what would sound good to me if I were watching the show at home and I guess I did okay because they let me keep doing it. (Guess now I can add “writer for television” to my resume!)

I spent a lot of time on research, reading books that were sent to us from publishers in hopes that we'd book their authors. I'd take a book or two home at night, read it and bring it back to the hosts and tell them “Great book, but your interview is in Chapter 3. I underlined a couple of quotes for you.” Or I'd tell them the book was only so-so and the topic was too close to one we'd already covered and we'd pass on it. The producer of this show called me “Radar” because I could anticipate his decisions about the guests I suggested just as well as Radar on MASH anticipated the colonel's orders.

On taping days I met the guests when they arrived and escorted them to the studio, sometimes staying with them all day and even driving a few to the airport afterward. Because we could often schedule a guest on a couple of cable TV shows and a nationally syndicated radio show or two, all produced in the same building, we were able to book some fascinating guests who came through the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex. I met some amazing people during my two years at that job. Being part of a creative, talented team that valued my input was an unforgettable experience.

About a year later, this show was replaced by a call-in talk show and I was promoted from secretary to production assistant with a greater role in booking guests. (The producer of this show, who had formerly worked at our local NBC affiliate, told me that if I'd done the same jobs in any other network or station I would have been called production assistant and then associate producer. But if they'd called me that they would have had to pay me more. Oh well.)

One day as I was scanning the newspaper for ideas for the show I saw an article about Jack LaLanne and a new exercise video he'd just released. I had watched his show when I was a preschooler, doing all the exercises along with my mom and Jack and Jack's beautiful white dog. I knew his high energy and enthusiasm and the popular topics of nutrition and fitness would be perfect for our call-in talk show. When I pitched it to the show's producer and hosts they loved the idea. Their only question was, “How do we contact him?”

Keep in mind this was during the pre-Google days. There was no contact information in the newspaper article I'd read, either. But I did have the name of the videotape.

I called a local video rental store and asked if they had the video. They did. I told the clerk that I was trying to find out how to contact Jack Lalanne and why and asked her to give me the name of the company that produced the video. She did. Finding a phone number for that company didn't take long and they gave me the number for Jack LaLanne's publicist. I told her all about our show and our little network and she said they'd gotten a couple of other inquiries from media outlets in Dallas and Houston. “Maybe we should go ahead and put together a media tour for him.”


When Jack LaLanne and his wife, Elaine, arrived at the Baptist Radio & Television Commission building I met them to escort them to the studio. I introduced myself and said, “I watched your show with my mom when I was a preschooler and we did all the exercises with you every day!” He grinned and said, “Well then I taught you how to count, didn't I?” And he started pumping his arms in a mock jumping-jack motion, saying “One! Two! Three! Four!”

Jack was a whirlwind of energy and joy and charmed everybody in the studio. His wife, Elaine, was just as charming and looked twenty years younger than her then actual age. After a lively interview segment tracing his career as a pioneer in the fitness industry we were ready to take calls and our phone lines lit up like a Christmas tree.

Jack fielded questions about nutrition and exercise from our show's hosts and from callers and the phones were still ringing when we signed off. He and Elaine happily demonstrated some exercises, too. After the taping was done for the day he continued to challenge and encourage the members of our crew. I wish I'd gotten a picture with the two of them.



I recently discovered that I can watch those old black & white Jack LaLanne TV shows on his website,  . You can't watch for more than a minute or two before feeling like this man really wanted you to be successful in your very first attempts to exercise. He wanted you to feel good and be healthy, not just thin. When Jack opened his first gym people thought he was crazy. I'm glad – though not at all surprised – that he lived long enough for everyone to see that he was right all along.

It makes me a little sad to see so many different machines and gadgets and videos for sale. Oh, Jack did sell a “Glamour Stretcher” which was essentially a rubber resistance band. I still have one my mother ordered and yes, I use it now and then. And I know Jack LaLanne invented many of the machines that are now used in gyms all across America, and don't forget that juicer!

But success depends less on gadgets and more on attitude. And being thin doesn't make you happy. It doesn't necessarily make you healthy, either.

I confess I'm feeling a little nostalgic for a simple little black and white TV show with a man, his beautiful white dog and his encouraging words showing you how to do a few little exercises every day so you can feel better and live longer.

It wasn't just a show about exercise. It was a show about getting the most out of life. Jack knew that a little time effort will pay off. Just don't give up.


It sure worked for him.

Thank you, Jack.


This illustration by Andy Helms was especially commissioned just for this blog entry.
Thank you, Andy! You can see more of Andy's work at http://oktotally.tumblr.com/



Thursday, January 13, 2011

Creative Writing Class

I had more fun in an English class my first semester of college than anyone should be allowed to have. My instructor looked like she'd just returned from Woodstock, complete with sandals and fringed panchos. She took a similarly unconventional approach to many of our assignments. She even had me bring my guitar one day to play and sing the theme song from MASH when we were studying song lyrics as poetry.

I loved every minute of it.

She'd have us read a brief short story or article about an event and then she'd say, “Pick one of the people you just read about or maybe someone else who's not mentioned. Tell me why you're there.” I'd take out my pen and my imagination would start spilling out all over the page. I remember sitting in her office between classes, talking about writing and imagination and what I wanted to do with my life.

As the semester came to a close she told me that she had recommended me for a Creative Writing class that was being offered the next semester. I was honored. You couldn't get into that class without a recommendation.


On the first day of class our Creative Writing instructor walked briskly into the room and in a loud voice said “Good morning, Creative Writers! Since we're all writers here let's write!” He plopped down on top of his desk, not behind it, while we all stared at him, waiting for further instructions. He stared back and said “Well, what are you waiting for? Take out some paper and start writing!”

So we did.

I don't remember what I wrote that day, probably some first impressions about him and my fellow class members. He had long, wavy brown hair, a mustache, little John Denver style wire frame glasses and wore a paisley shirt, tan corduroy jeans and Earth Shoes. It was 1975, so he was cool. Our class was a mix of traditional students, just a year or two out of high school, as well as a few men and women in their 30s, 40s and 50s, each with their own story about going back to school.

After about ten minutes we heard “Stop writing!” So we did. Some in mid-sentence. He gathered our papers, and began to read them. As he read them aloud the class critiqued them and he sometimes added his own comments to ours.

Everything we wrote that semester was shared with the whole class. It was always nerve-wracking and frequently enlightening. I recall one assignment was to write the first page of a novel. Only the first page. He said someday, we'd write our Great American Novel and submit it to a publisher and if an editor didn't like what they saw on that first page, they wouldn't bother reading the second.

Each day the class began the same way. We'd take out paper and pen and for the first 10 minutes or so we'd write. Some days he told us what to write about, usually giving us a choice of two or three topics. Sometimes he would write four words on the chalk board and we were to use as many of those words as possible. These were random, unrelated words and the more we were able to include, the higher our grade. I could usually do it with two and sometimes three. I remember at least one time I used all four.

That day the four words were

1. Emotion

2. Space

(so far, so good)

3. Barbed Wire

(scattered giggles)

4. Cantelope

(audible gasps)

I wrote that I had mixed emotions about my cantelope after being thrown through space by my horse into a barbed wire fence. I've still got that one around here somewhere. If I ever find it again, I'll let you know.

Until then, I'll share this one. The assignment was to write a Shakespearean sonnet. You know the type... iambic pentameter, three four-line stanzas and a couplet with the rhyming pattern abab - cdcd - efef - gg. I was late turning mine in. I had already written and turned in a sonnet of a different style but was stuck on this one. He said as long as I got it to him by the end of the semester, that would be fine.

So I wrote a sonnet about taking all semester to write a sonnet and turning it in late. Here it is:


He told me once to write a sonnet well.
I told him I would try and do my best.
He smiled and said “well, that will be just swell.”
I thought about it and forgot the rest.

I took my weary brain and tried to write,
But all that I could do was fall asleep.
I went to bed and then turned out the light.
In moments sleep had overtaken me.

I saw him in the classroom as before.
He asked me for what I had promised him.
I said I didn't have it, “What's in store?”
He said, “Go home, think hard, and try again!”

We did that all semester, he and I.
He'd say, “Go do it!” I would say, “I'll try!”



 This mug was a gift from a good friend who would later become my first editor.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Resolution

The topic of the day is New Year's Resolutions.

Do you make them or not?

Do you keep them or not?


I do not make New Year's Resolutions. I've found that there are too many variables in my life, too many little things that can change the picture every day, to be able to see whether or not some goals can be kept. If I make resolutions that are too specific I feel as though I've failed if I need to change that goal later in the year. If my goals are too general it's hard to tell if I've met them or not and too easy to just not bother trying.

Making New Year's resolutions makes me feel like I'm just setting myself up for failure. And heaven knows I tend to be too hard on myself as it is.


I think we make resolutions every day.

Every day we wake up and decide what kind of person we're going to be.

Will we carry the pains and regret of yesterday's wrongs with us and let them weigh us down?

Or will we start the day with a clean slate and a new determination to do our best?


Will we focus on what makes us angry or afraid?

Or will we focus on the positive and look for ways to make a difference for good?


Will I see in myself the best I have to offer or will I see only my limitations?

Will I see in you only your limitations?

Or will I see your need...

for love...

forgiveness...

understanding...

a second chance....



May our focus improve this year.




Sunday, December 26, 2010

Best Christmas Present Ever

Looking around my living room I see bits and pieces of wrapping paper and ribbons still littering the floor. Presents freshly unwrapped are stacked in one corner, waiting to be put away. Holiday candles and Christmas tree lights are glowing as the snow swirls outside my window and a favorite old movie is on TV.

It's almost bedtime on the day after Christmas. Family and friends have come and gone and soon the goodies will be, too, if not the extra pounds.

What was your favorite present this year?

Was it something homemade? Something you'd longed for or something you didn't even realize you wanted?

I've discovered the older I get, the less I remember the gifts I received and the more I remember the gifts I gave. I remember most the planning, the plotting, the saving, the shopping, even the clever wrapping of that perfect gift for someone special. Those are the memories that stick with me, more than what was in those boxes with my name on the label.

The gift is in the giving.


Last year we flew to Texas the week before Christmas for the memorial service for my mother-in-law. My husband, a Baptist minister, led the service. His sister and her daughters sang “It Is Well With My Soul”. I don't know how they managed to hold it together, unless it was the thought that their mother believed they could do anything and would have expected nothing less of them.

My mother-in-law was a great lady who made things happen and who also knew the value of a quiet, unplanned day.

When we visited her she gave us wonderful home cooked meals

whirlwind shopping trips

laughs

love

and time.

Thinking of her I realized what my favorite gift was this Christmas.


Time.


Time with my daughter, who no longer lives under my roof. I'm so grateful she's close enough to visit now and then. Time to get to know someone special she brought home with her this year.


Time with my younger daughter who is finishing high school in a few months, to watch glimpses of the little kid she once was before it's her turn to take on the world beyond our door.


Time with my husband, to see his burdens briefly lifted by the presence of our daughters, knowing that for a little while he's not thinking about the job hunt that continues to drag on much too long or a hundred other worries that weigh heavily on his mind during his long commute to his “in-between” part-time job every day.


Time for phone calls full of laughter

with relatives who live too far away for visits,

yet they are always in my heart.



Time to tell my daughters about them and

share memories of my childhood Christmases,

introducing them to family members they never got the chance to meet,

loved ones I sometimes see in their smiles

and hear in their laughter.



You can't wrap that up neatly and stick a bow on it.


Time and love.


I hope your life is full of both in the new year.