I spent 48 hours today shopping for a new pair of glasses. That's not a typo. It really did feel like 48 hours and I'm sure my husband and daughter would agree with me as I took them along to get their opinions. I don't know why they wouldn't be endlessly entertained watching me take one pair of frames after another off the display, put them on, then scowl at myself in a mirror, finally putting them back in disgust. You'd think they had better things to do on a Saturday afternoon.
I've discovered that all the world wants flat, rectangular glasses. My face, however wants nice little round ones.
It told me that every time I put on something rectangular or square. I found a few with rounded corners but most of those had a shape that was vaguely reminiscent of the cat's eye glasses I saw on my substitute teachers when I was a kid...some complete with rhinestones. Really.
I can't explain why cat's eye shaped glasses with rhinestones in the corners (especially blue ones) would ever be thought to enhance a woman's natural beauty but to each his or her own.
I think the problem is that I don't want people to look and me and think, "What a pretty pair of glasses!"
I want people to look at me and think "What a pretty woman!" That's pretty much my philosophy where hair and make-up are concerned, too, but that's another story.
My goal is to find a pair of glasses that will help me see better and won't get in the way of me as I look out or of others as they look in. I'm pretty sure I'm over-thinking the whole process.
But the frames I have now are ones I picked out about 10 years ago. I've gotten new lenses put in them a couple of times but they're worn out now, barely holding together, hence the search for something new. It's quite possible that the next pair of glasses I pick out might also be worn for 10 years and how old will I be then?
This has all made me consider a question that has occurred to me before: What kind of old woman do I want to be?
I think of those little old ladies I've known who wore those blue cat's eye glasses with the rhinestones on the corners. Some were less than gracious. Some were unexpected blessings.
I've seen old faces with perpetual frowns frozen firmly in place, eyes that darted about uneasily as they tried to anticipate the next disappointment, faces that sagged as though all the energy of life had left them years ago.
I've seen women whose energy into their 70s made me wonder what they must have been like in their 20s, women who took a backseat most of their lives who stood up sometime in their 50s and changed the world. I've seen women who never achieved great things on the world's stage, never accumulated great wealth, didn't see all their dreams come true...but you could still see their eyes twinkle with the wonder of a little child, as though they shared a secret with God.
And maybe they did.
Maybe they knew what was really important in life...
That each day brings with it new possibilities.
to make a difference.
I want to be one of those women
...when I grow up.